EVOLUTION

I was kissed and loved.. warmth upon my cheek and heat from my core.. Chaos and hatred consuming so many nights.. Tears.. Anger... Fear... In love all these things... Not love then... patient.. yes ... kind .. yes... forgiving... yes... Destructive... Abandoning... Deception... Love still then? Day one and two are all pain. Day three, four and five freedom. Six then there is love. Seven confusion. Back to day one. So does day six make the other six worth the equality. Maybe it all equates to an illusion in which you can not undisguise. Running from the same walls to be freed only to be trapped by the same emotions in four more walls. Pondering if its the walls i should have ran from or the illusion. Yes then No.. Right then Wrong. Sail has been ripped but the boat still floating. Lightening struck the tree and it has been shredded but during spring it still blooms on the right side with branches anew. Only to look charred and dead in the fall and winter waiting for spring once again.

EMPTY

As i keep dreaming i wonder am i doing right or wrong. Which is harder following through then failing or turning back to face failure.. Either way it's a failure. Pains that are hindering my heart seems to overwhelm me and adjustment is just another word for deal with what ever shit you are in. I dream big and live small.. I talk large and yell soft.. I am waiting for that miracle you see. Where for once i don't look around and think where am I... Is this where i am to be... to be with... to be moving towards... are any streets different for me if i am only looking down either way.. If i am not looking up then my roads all look the same.. I find my self so envious of everyone i do look upon thinking they are so much greater.. even if my peacock feathers seem bright and beautiful really it is a illusion it seems. Do i press the publish button with the ignorance anyone reads what i think... No i am not that ignorant... maybe just that hopeful..