start of josiah

One moment that sparkles and shines... The creation of ... The existence of something beautiful.

Regrets and mistakes are memories made.. Pride veiled with shame ... disgraced..

This moment confounds me with the reality of... acceptance in a attempt to comprehend...

Fighting the slow feel of guilt for such ignorance... searching for the meaning of it all....

Overwhelmed with a new love... cherishing the idea of... Motherhood.

How to decipher the extreme hate i feel is part of a love so pure.

Pending the moment of realization of Gods big plan... Humbling.. Unsure.

Trying to be inhuman... numb this.. feel that..

Split in two... anger... love.. fear..excitement... pain.. joy.

ending of... them

beginning of...

Josiah

consumed

consumed..consumed by you and him then her and them... consumed by your emotions then mine... living to breath without being consumed with the smoke and consumptions of all else that smoother's me.... choking me with emotion choking me with expectation... can i live.. can i breathe... can i go on without your words and opinion... consumed with being what the world wants... you want... they want.. all want... what of what i want... need... expect... ... ... irrelevant are my feelings irrelevant are my options... live... leave... forget me.. in death except in death realize... i never expected.. never i believe.. never were you close... never forgivness... die... die in life.. die in self...for rebirth.